So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
