You can't motorboat a personality
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
