in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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