yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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