Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize