if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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