so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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