just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
