Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
