Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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