Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
