Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
