sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
