i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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