i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
