i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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