So drunk its hurt
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
