So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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