my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Porn is love you can see.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
