All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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