Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize