D3 body, D1 cock
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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