i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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