a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
