ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
