I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
