Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I love having hate sex.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
