fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
