He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
