We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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