Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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