I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
