Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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