I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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