john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I touched a dick in church today
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
