So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
