dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize