I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
