he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
