we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
