Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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