legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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