nut hugger
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
