and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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