if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
