I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
