kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need water and some morals
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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