my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
