ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
