i just google imaged poop.
Fuck appropriateness.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
