I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
