you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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