i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
