im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
