sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
