Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
