We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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