he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night I used snow as a chaser
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
