No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
