I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you win again, gameday.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
