"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
be right there i have to get my cape
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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