i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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