everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
