are you so shy because you have an std?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My bed smells like the plague
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
