walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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