Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
