its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
