So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize