i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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