she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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