never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize